There’s your Life Story, the How I Got Here. It’s usually interesting enough, and…there’s another one.  The one underneath guiding the whole show, like an iceberg you may not see.

I’ll Out mine so you know what I mean. My surface story is that I grew up in nice middle-class Ohio and got to teach in awesome places like California and Munich. Then moved to Idaho and began another life as a bodywork therapist, coach and facilitator. Never married or had kids.

That all seems normal and slightly cool, like the Munich part. It doesn’t reveal very much, and it definitely hides the truth. The iceberg underneath is that “No one wants me.” That’s my guiding story. It holds me back, and it’s motivation to be myself more deeply.

You wouldn’t think that would be the story, which is part of its devious nature. It lurks round and either sabotages my desires or motivates me to be better. So how do I know about it?

When I feel fearful, and when I look at unrealized goals, there’s this pattern. No one really wants me to bother them. Don’t post that, don’t make a phone call. Don’t ask for what you want. Even better, don’t even know what you want.

It’s no mystery. I was adopted at birth. Grew up VERY socially inept. The Enneagram says I’m a 2, the Helper. We live for approval and crumble under criticism.

All my careers have given me opportunities to test and refine it. A teacher for teenagers, perfect. It made me work really hard to motivate them.

Being a bodyworker and coach only extends the range of people saying yes and no. And here’s the deal, always. More people say no than yes. That’s just the sheer make-up of the universe. We have more opportunities than we can handle. We miss out more than we join simply because of the ratio of possibilities to 24 hours.

I’m not letting go of the story—it’s too deep. It’s part of my soul contract this lifetime. Rather, I am learning to live with it, use it, honor it. It’s the people saying yes who matter, where I must dedicate my attention. So this story has as much power as I decide to give it. And today I give it the power to heal. To help me see the way forward. To accept the parameters of this life and serve where I am called to be.

Now simply ask yourself, What is my Story. In one sentence. Invite it to the surface. See its impact, guidance, and wisdom. And let me know. I’m curious what they all are, and I will for sure honor yours.