Dear friends, colleagues, and neighbors~
Thank you for including me in your bright communications—I am delighted to read them and consider your offerings. Due to the preponderance of communiques with stylistic misdemeanors, I am compelled to offer my unsolicited opinion.
First, if you are using exclamation points in multiple sentences and especially in one sentence multiple times, you are missing the point of an exclamation point. Please feel confident that your abundant excitement has already been clearly expressed.
Secondly, being a capable adult for awhile now, I am adverse to being told what to do. When I receive a command that You Won’t Want to Miss This, I want to miss it even more. Quite frankly, I already wanted to miss it. Not because I don’t like you or care about your life or business, life just requires my presence elsewhere.
Third, I CAN wait for the Exciting Event and to see you again. To be truthful, neither one of us is waiting. We all have plenty to do before the E2. We are both living, not waiting.
I do wish to claim my own share of stylistic grievances. I have diligently worked to rectify my form and offer these simple requests only to alleviate my own discomfort.
Best wishes for a passionate 2019,