For several years I did a full-on heart commitment to community. It was a natural and easy progression, from teaching high school to the learning curve of a small business. Returning to teaching with Cabin Fever classes, then joining the board. Learning about the struggles of nonprofits, how maybe they need a place to work and meet. More than anything I’ve wanted that sense of being of service, making an impact.
Over time, that commitment to community dissolved. Mind-numbing meetings, time dedicated to events with sparse attendance, long conversations that led…um, where?
You probably have a version of this story. All that value-driven vision, all those meetings, all that talking, and then learning to say “no.”
This part is slow—we seem to gradually grow a stronger desire to stay home, funnel energy inward instead of dispersing it, cultivate a need for less society.
The Pivot is something else—it’s when your trajectory requires a more abrupt, unexpected, or dramatic turn.
I turned away from community work to finish my book manuscript. It worked—as someone who sees and adapts patterns, my kryptonite can be fuzzy direction or focus—I get lost exploring the patterns. So I need really clear structures for momentum.
Finally I began sending out book proposals. When that proved unsuccessful, I studied them. Turns out I completely, totally lack the requirements to get a book published. Right now, today.
St. Paul’s Chapel, Columbia University
So, it is time to Pivot. It has to be fast, sharp, informed, creative, appropriate…. You get the idea. I cannot stay on the plan I had a week ago—figure out how to write a book proposal, since I have the book. Nope. Renee has it backwards. I have to develop…guess what? A community. In order make a book proposal sing, I have to prove that I have an audience.
My point is not to tell you about that, yet. My point is the Pivot. When something isn’t working, or we aren’t ready, or we need something different—first we have to see it. Then we have to accept it. Darn, that’s hard. All that work, and I have to do something else? Then we have to make that fast, sharp, informed, creative, appropriate, and courageous turn. It might be writing to someone with an Ask. Having a hard conversation setting new boundaries. Asking someone to leave. Making yourself leave.
I think we need some hard Pivots these days. What are yours? Finding alternatives to doomscrolling? Waking up to something beautiful instead of entering despair? Ending an association or friendship that has completed its purpose? Giving yourself the self care you actually need instead of dithering about it?
Maybe you’ve already Pivoted and you can help others. Wherever you are, know where you are, says the wisdom teaching. And if where you are isn’t working, maybe it’s a slow change or maybe it’s fast. Neither one is easier or better. For me now, it’s about mustering courage and energy to step back into community. Stay tuned—-you’ll be the first to know.
Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
Jelaluddin Rumi
Translated by Coleman Barks
I’ve made a Spotify playlist just for you.
Audiobooks for the Morning Wake Up. Or driving or whatever. I especially loved waking up to On Being, and am on Ordinary Mysticism now. Start your day with beauty and inspiration.
Tip for mornings–set the audio speed a teeny bit slower at .9 for your waking brain.