When you think of a windfall, perhaps it’s an unexpected bonus. A tree in the forest has it very differently.

A mighty wind took out these mighty trees. They were stunningly tall, old, useful still, and beautiful. The wind also did one of its jobs, which is to clean out the forest.

I am always learning from trees. Mostly when they are alive and standing—I think about strength, resilience, and just shut up and do your job. I wonder about about the history beneath their canopy—who walked or sat here, wearing clothes from another decade or century, did they think different words to the tree.

On walks like this, I try to learn from trees on the ground. Which seems a little surreal until you think about new habitat for animals and mushrooms. And how the trees will eventually become the forest floor.

The inside of a tree is also beautiful, another whole universe. This one has sap saturating its wood, prized for fire-starting prowess. I’ve never seen so much sap before in an open tree. A local firewood scavenger will really get some windfall bang for the buck. And when does a tree become wood—when it’s on the ground, or when it’s broken or cut?

The inside of this tree has vacant spaces and little holes from probably bark beetles. So this tree was infected and ready to fall. I didn’t see any of the beetles—do they run off when exposed?

I often walk to the top of the tree, where I feel huge grief. I’ll stroke its top, tell it how beautiful it was, that I’m sorry, and that it will have a new important “life.” I guess that’s a weird word to use, and it seems nicer than “job” or “role.” Whatever—trees don’t know English; I figure they just feel whatever we’re thinking or saying.

I usually feel disoriented when looking at the tilted bottom of a tree and don’t stay long. This part of the Tree Lessons I haven’t been able to absorb or reconcile.

Looking at the roots is oddly a little easier. I feel awe. And a little “Really? That’s all that was holding up that enormous tree?” I know there’s more of the root system still in the ground, and still.… I think about how heavy the tree is. How many armloads of “wood” the ground just holds up.

I appreciate the people willing to haul their chainsaws out to the trails. This also lets us admire the sap, rings, and color gradations. This drippy sap, which a tree will make for its own medicine when wounded, is what we harvest to make salve for arthritis. Pine sap can also treat human wounds, and I’m sure there are other uses.

Today I learned a little about destruction—its inevitability and some of its purpose. Hindu cosmology even acknowledges destruction as an aspect of God, Shiva.

Even though I prefer my trees standing, being a human I also need warmth in winter and shelter all the time. So there’s the generosity of trees. Including how they might stand and grow for a long time providing erosion control, habitat, shade, medicine, food…. Then their “life” on the ground will be even longer, where one day they will turn into the ground itself.

It all powers me to keep walking and learning from trees. Hopefully I’ll become a better human—more understanding of nature, more generous with giving.