The other day I got lost in the wine cellar at Mavens’ Haven. It’s a trove of full bottles, inscrutable gadgets, and supplies for making soap, salve, beer, heaven knows what. It needs culled, as in a lot of little decisions. What to do with tinctures from 2012? What to do with tinctures from the 2010’s, or even earlier? Will anyone use this? What is this?

And then I lost my new license plate. I managed to replace the back plate but couldn’t loosen the screws on the front one. When I tossed the old back plate, did I inadvertently toss the other new one?

I’ve been calling it pre-dementia brain, which I’m hoping is a joke. It’s all over the place—wonky momentum, hidden to-do lists, days that feel busy and unproductive. From brief conversations with some of you, apparently I’m not alone. My inquiry is on how we manage it.

First, I might chide myself. “What is wrong with you, Renée?” This is not helpful. Either-Or thinking generally doesn’t bring insight or solutions. It’s too easy to stay stuck in what’s wrong. That isn’t pre-dementia; it’s just ordinary brain looping.

Second, I might ask “How did this happen?” How in the world did I manage to lose a license plate in a little Prius for Heaven’s Sake. How did the wine cellar get so unruly again. You can see how I’ve just rerouted my brain to what’s wrong. Or to the past, or looking for something to blame.

Third. Get through the unhelpful whiny stage, hopefully quickly, so I can ask, “What do I need?” and “What can I do?” Now we’re talking. Here’s where I want to be. If I genuinely ask what I need and get quiet enough to listen, insight will arrive without me doing decision gymnastics. It might take a little while, especially if I’m tired or overwrought. There might be a charge of energy to truth arriving, like a little ping or a bigger Woof.

I left that wine cellar and returned twice before giving up. It took me a night and then staring out some windows to realize all I need is a reset. A span of time doing something completely outside of myself. We might take a long vacation, give a week volunteering at a service project abroad, collapse at an all-inclusive resort. The key is to get away from our default-brain networked world.

After a little re-wiring, we gain clarity, find momentum, figure out what to do with dozens of bottles. And that license plate? Low stakes really, just order another one.

Photo of Lucile by Chris Hinze